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- Category: Content
What is a BrainStyle™?
Everyone has one. It originates in our genes. It is the essence of who we are, how we think, and how we help others. It empowers the way we comprehend, make choices, and conduct relationships. Those who discover their brainstyle can experience powerful transformations.
The BrainStyles System goes far beyond personality quizzes and self-help books to help you discover your natural, hardwired brainstyle and show you how to use your special gifts to improve relationships, grow as a leader, build teams, and minimize stress and conflict in your life.
Become the Person You Are
People often look to personality assessments and self-help books to try to improve who they are instead of making the most of how they already operate. Confused? It's really simple. We compare ourselves to others. Choose role models. Figure that there's something wrong with us, and that's why we can't achieve our full potential. Others tell us that to do better we have to change. Not so!
Grow as a leader, build teams naturally, and reduce stress and conflict.
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BrainStyles™ for Lovers:
Create Partnerships that Change Your Life WITHOUT Changing Who You Are SM.
The Book: Real people. Real relationships.
BrainStyles for Lovers was born in the lives of those in business seminars who took BrainStyles home. Walk through dating, romance, and fights to solutions called “Strengths Contracts.” Journey from the hard-edged realities of genetics and personal limitations to a limitless, spiritual path through personal mastery of your brainstyle.
Here’s a real story of how this works.
BrainStyles® at Home:
The meeting with the contractor was directionless; we were all talking at once. [My husband] asked for a time-out. He pointed out that I was trying to contribute ideas in an area of his strengths (establishing the project overview). I instantly recognized this was true and did not defend or try to explain myself, as in the past. He needed to start the project by defining the shape and structure of the new room; I needed to contribute after this overview was established.
Given his brainstyle, his experience with a previous home, and his knowledge of my brainstyle, I asked where he thought I could make the biggest contribution. He suggested that I could coordinate the whole project between the contractor and the decorator (with his vote on major choices). I would be consulted on major structural choices (my concern). I was not only relieved, I was pleased. He set the boundaries, provided direction, and outlined the future; I was free to do what I knew how to do best: build relationships, coordinate the different elements of the project, and make visual choices.
.We worked together for the next eight months with more collaboration than we’d ever experienced. NO arguments….We began to praise one another on decisions made... Our marriage had become more of a partnership, something I thought impossible with the pressures of each of our careersnew I could do well…form relationships, and facilitate communications to keep the project on track.
--BrainStyles for Lovers®, p. 282-3 (excerpt from the book)
- If you could discover what is preventing a closer, more intimate relationship with your partner, would you?
Author Marlane Miller has designed an instrument to uncover your ideal lover.
- Dating? Do you know what you’re looking for in a lover?
Want to know why you’re happy or frustrated with the one you’ve got?
- In a committed relationship? Want to learn what to expect and what to let go of?
What if you could have less conflict, less stress and more trust and respect?
The BrainStyle Inventory 3.5© for Lovers
You’ll receive:
- A review of your own brainstyle as a lover.
- A description of the brainstyle profile of your ideal lover.
- A list of what you CANNOT expect from this partner.
- Questions to guide you in using this material in your relationship.
- An exercise for you to complete to enhance understanding of your answers.
- Next steps you can take with a BrainStyles coach to transform your relationship into a true partnership.
But First: Get grounded in your own gifts. Learn about BrainStyles. Take The BrainStyle Inventory© 2.0 to determine your brainstyle. Get an overview of each brainstyle and what to expect from their strengths.
To improve yourself, be more yourself.
To create a spiritual partnership, stop trying to change yourself
or your partner.
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Each of us has a natural brainstyle wired from our genes. Your brainstyle is your particular set of gifts, the essence of who you are. Neurological research has shown that areas in the left and right sides of the brain are accessed at different speeds, and in varying sequences, in different people. A brainstyle is shorthand for your access to the areas of your brain that are easiest for you to draw from. This is critically important when making new and stressful decisions ---so important that all relationships at home and at work pivot around these events. By understanding how your brainstyle mandates your decisions, you can deliver your best in relationships, as an entrepreneur, leader, parent, or partner. Honoring your own unique way of thinking automatically allows you to respect the way others think.
You may have taken personality tests and found the results descriptive and intriguing. They often offer a way others view you and offer ways to adapt to others by learning new skills or techniques. BrainStyles disputes these manipulations and shows you how to be yourself more easily and naturally.
A coach tells why she no longer uses the Myers-Briggs Temperament Instrument: "It tells you ways to change. People forget their profile. BrainStyles sticks."
Most of these assessments were derived from insights of Carl Jung (1921) and other practitioners using accepted psychological principles of the early 20th century: notably sociology from Max Weber, (1864- 1920) and behavioral psychology from B.F. Skinner (1904-1990). Older psychological systems, based on the premise that we are products of our environments, have been radically challenged by new science. The intensive brain research begun with Roger Sperry’s Nobel Prize of 1981 opened the world of left and right brain differences and launched a new paradigm. The mapping of the human genome (2003) and exploration of our genetic makeup continues to reveal what creates our natural gifts.
THE BRAINSTYLES SYSTEM®
Solutions suggesting behavioral change and adaptation have been re-evaluated. Long term studies of identical twins raised separately reached very different conclusions about the parenting mandates of yesterday.* Workplace applications of BrainStyles incorporating the concepts of brain-based gifts** and brain speed identified new leaders who were previously disregarded or worse, told to change to keep their jobs. Work teams reduced time lines with increased respect and confidence for team members. Executives re-examined performance appraisals and promotions.
The BrainStyles System goes beyond personality to the genetic brain hardware that defines the natural strengths you use to be who you are when you are at your best ---at home, at work and at play--and shows you how to use them without trying to change anyone.
The BrainStyles System utilizes a variety of tools: well-researched, engaging real-life stories, online self-tests
(called Inventories), personal coaching, and professional training seminars.
What is your natural brainstyle? How can you make it work for you more effectively?
Learn how you can Change Your Life WITHOUT Changing Who You AreSM. Take The BrainStyle Inventory© 2.0 to find out where your natural gifts lie and how to focus on them. Learn how others' gifts are your non-strengths, so you can quit self-criticism or hero worship of role models. Become your own role model. Reclaim who you are naturally. Be your best. Bring out the best in others.
* A summary of recent research on Nature v. Nurture referring to the longitudinal twins studies can be found at : http://web.pdx.edu/~megr/inquiry_naturevsnurture.htm
** Take a look at what “gifts” really mean at http://www.nagc.org/index.aspx?id=574
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When A Loved One Has a Different BrainStyleTM
Sometimes talking to a family member or loved one may be challenging. Different communication styles, different ways of solving problems, and different ways of processing information may make it difficult to build a relationship. However, by understanding different brainstyles, we may better understand our loved ones. Our relationships with them will grow closer.
My father and I had very different ways of communicating. Most of the time I thought he just didn't understand me, or would just order me to do things. The summer before I started college I was dating an older guy. Early in the summer I’d had interviews but had not been hired. Dad made it clear that he wasn't pleased. But I wasn’t in a particular hurry to get a job because, well, my boyfriend made a lot of money which paid for his college expenses and our dates. A typical day was: BF picks me up to go out to lunch at a nice restaurant, then to the beach or a movie or the mall, then brings me home to get ready to go out for the evening, then home by midnight, my curfew. I was comfortable being taken care of.
One morning at my place at the breakfast table, Dad had left me a handwritten note. This was no ordinary note like “I’ll be home for dinner by 6pm” or “Have a great day, Sweetheart!” This note piqued my curiosity with its fan-folded lined notebook paper. As I dove into my Cheerios, I carefully unfolded and read each fold’s message. It went something like this:
- Weed the flower beds. (open to next fold)
- Get a Job. (open to next fold.)
- Wash Mom’s car. (open to next fold)
- Get a Job. (open to next fold)
- Sweep the garage. (open to next fold)
- Get a Job.
You get the picture. I recall there were 10 lines, but one clear message. He chose a way to remind me that was kind and personal, respecting my more right-brained, personal style. Dad was reminding me that I was goal-oriented and accomplishment-driven. A recent high school Honors Queen, athlete, and Thespian, I’d graduated in the top 5% of my class. I would start college in September majoring in International Studies with big plans to work at the United Nations. I’d always worked summers and holiday breaks to save up for college expenses and a trip to Europe. But this particular summer I wasn’t pursuing a job and was just having fun.
I had a job by the following Monday.
After learning about BrainStyles®, I realized that Dad showed his love most often by guiding, setting standards, lining out the tasks, re-directing, and leading our family on adventures. He didn't love me the way I would have wanted, with a hug and a smile. His integrity and clarity were hallmarks of his legacy of leadership in the family, and I’ve heard stories about how he kept standards high at his office, his golf tournaments, his community involvement, and at the marina. His brainstyle strengths are those of the left-brain’s logic and analysis. It shows up in aptitudes for prioritizing, sequencing, keeping standards, closing gaps, solving problems, and securing resources. I learned from him. I also found my own, different but natural, strengths.
Thank you, Dad. Miss you, Dad!
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Using Our Natural Strengths
The famous basketball player Michael Jordan once said, “There is no I in team, but there is an I in WIN.” While many assumed this to be a selfish quote, there is another way of looking at it. It brings up the question: if everyone played to his or her strengths, would the team benefit? Jordan’s 6 national championships with the Chicago Bulls say Yes.
In his video series “Trombone Player Wanted”, motivational speaker Marcus Buckingham talks about a study where parents were asked: "If your child came home with a report card that had an A in English and an F in Math, which grade would you focus on the most: the A or the F?" Buckingham notes that the study never said to ignore any grade or to overlook the grade; it simply asked which one would get the most attention. Most parents focused on the F.
Why? Why do we automatically focus on our mistakes, our "weaknesses," our non-strengths?
While that child in the hypothetical example above needs math to be productive in life, why ignore his passion and natural-born strengths in English? In many schools, the child would be put in remedial classes for math and denied honors English courses.
When we translate this example to the workplace, it becomes easier to see why so few people find satisfaction with their work. We are also put into positions to "create an action plan" to "shore up our weak areas." Doing this commits the Two Basic Errors: It overlooks your strengths, and focuses on weaknesses. The result: Average performance at best.
We are told to work hard, show up, and go along to get along as a team member because that will ultimately benefit the group as a whole. When there are failures or weakness, the weak link is terminated and asked to leave the team.
What if leadership chose to do just the opposite? Instead of focusing on the F and firing the employee, what if a manager chose to find a position that plays to the employee’s strengths? What if teams drew from brain-based strengths instead of titles or resumes?
Read about the results in BrainStylesTM: Change Your Life Without Changing Who You Are, by Marlane Miller, (Simon & Schuster, 1997, 2013). See how drawing from individual strengths of each team member creates high performance, motivated individuals and cohesive teams.
BrainStylesR provides research and tools to assist people to define and leverage
their hardwired, brain-based strengths.